Why am I having problems getting aroused? I want to have sex!

Why am I having problems getting aroused? I want to have sex!

Arousal is the initial bodily response to sexual desire and the physical events that prepare it for sex. In men, the most obvious sign is erection, while women normally experience vaginal opening and lubrication, but both can also experience flushed skin, changes in breathing patterns and hardening of the nipples. Both men and women can have difficulty becoming physically aroused, even when they desire it. Men can have difficulties achieving or maintaining an erection that is sufficient for their preferred type of sexual activity, and women can experience a lack of vaginal preparedness. The reasons can be largely physiological or largely psychological, but are most often a combination of the two.

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Arousal failures can occur naturally and normally and are nothing to be concerned about. However, when they become frequent – and cause distress and relationship problems – they can usually be treated. Indeed, multimillion-dollar pharmaceutical industries are dedicated to treating arousal problems. However, they have mainly helped men with erectile dysfunction – treating female arousal problems pharmacologically is still a work in progress.
Erectile dysfunction can be caused by a number of medical conditions, such as vascular problems and diabetes. Psychologically, the same life and relationship events that lead to desire problems – stress, anxiety, work and money problems, emotional hurt and trauma – can also cause arousal difficulties, as can various strong fears – pregnancy, disease, punishment, being discarded. Shame, religious orthodoxy, illness and/or body image can also play a part. Finding the causes will lead to the correct treatment.